Yes, a rare Sunday post — but we couldn’t resist sharing an exciting bathroom update. We’ve praised budget American Standard toilets in the past, but today we’re eating those words: we’ve found the most impressive toilet we’ve ever seen. Think of it as the Jake Gyllenhaal of toilets — seriously stunning. Take a look at this showstopper:
Imagine a toilet that offers:
- a heated seat and a warm foot blower
- ambient bowl lighting for a soft glow
- a motion-activated lid and seat that open and close automatically
- an advanced bidet function
- built-in speakers with a remote docking station for music
- an integrated air dryer to finish the job
- a touchscreen remote to control everything with ease
Now you might assume a throne like this would cost a small fortune — tens of thousands, maybe — but surprisingly it’s under $5,000.
And yes, we decided to splurge. After all the DIY projects we tackle, a little luxury makes sense. A heated seat and an air dryer aren’t just indulgent — they’re morale boosters after a long day of painting or demolition. Picture coming home, taking a break in a warm, softly lit bathroom, playing favorite songs through built-in speakers, and using the remote to activate the dryer. Instant comfort.
It looks especially gorgeous in an all-glass bathroom with a city view — a space I’ve always dreamed about.
Gotcha — you probably saw this coming. What gave it away? The ambient bowl light? The price? The Sunday post landing on April Fool’s Day? You all know us too well.
Psst — Isn’t it amusing that a $4,600 toilet doesn’t qualify for free shipping?
Pssst — April Fool’s pranks are a bit of a tradition here. Here’s last year’s, the year before that, and the year before that as well.