The Downsizing Paradox: Forgetting and Being Reminded of Smaller Living

So, what fresh insights have emerged after nearly five years of living small? Two key observations, seemingly contradictory, continually come to mind:

1. It’s remarkably easy to forget you’ve downsized.
2. It’s equally easy to be reminded of your downsized life.

These phenomena largely pertain to the mental and psychological aspects of downsizing, and it’s a curious experience that many others who have embraced smaller living also report. We often find common ground and shared stories with neighbors and friends who’ve also made the leap from larger homes to more modest ones near the beach.

The Comfort of the Norm: Forgetting You Downsized

For the most part, our downsized life has become our everyday reality. Most days, it’s effortless to forget that we once lived with – or even believed we needed – significantly more space. We’ve inhabited this home long enough to fully adapt, both mentally and practically, to its 1,400 square feet. What initially felt like an “unconventional” or “different” lifestyle change now feels utterly normal and unremarkable. This normalization can make it a little challenging to articulate what’s truly unique or interesting about it, as we’ve almost become “blind” to its distinctiveness.

So, why do we emphasize this “forgettableness” of downsizing? There are a couple of powerful reasons.

1. Transitions Are Temporary, and Adjustment is Inevitable

Firstly, we hope this offers reassurance to anyone currently navigating a similar transition, whether by choice or circumstance. Downsizing can indeed present its challenges, particularly in the early stages, but these hurdles are not permanent. Like any major life transition – be it starting college, beginning a new career, or welcoming a baby – the adjustment period is often the most demanding part. Our experience serves as a testament that, with time, you will emerge on the other side. You will adapt, and your new normal will take root.

This isn’t to say the adjustment is always swift or effortless. And certainly, different aspects can prove more difficult for different individuals. For us, the process of paring down our belongings was surprisingly enjoyable – dare I say, even exciting! However, once we moved into our smaller home, it took us a solid 2-3 years to truly:

• Master Furniture Arrangements: Strategically configuring furniture in some of our trickier, more compact spaces.
• Implement Optimal Storage Solutions: Fully integrating and building sufficient storage, such as adding custom closets designed for our specific needs.

So there was an initial “sticking point” – a period of active problem-solving to determine the best place for everything, or a literal waiting period while we built the necessary storage cabinets or closets. But now that those solutions are in place, everything has its designated spot, and our home operates on a much more “autopilot” level. In fact, if asked to recall the specific items we struggled to store or the particular challenges we faced, it might take a dedicated brainstorming session to jog our memories. The difficulties faded as the solutions became ingrained.

2. A Confirmation of the Right Choice: Why Downsizing Works for Us

Secondly (and perhaps more personally), the “forgettableness” of our decision serves as a powerful affirmation that we made the right choice. Downsizing isn’t a universal solution, and its suitability varies greatly from person to person. The fact that it has become such a normalized and effortless way of life for our family is profoundly reassuring. We still regularly host friends and family, with our pool and proximity to the beach being a definite draw. We consistently find ourselves spending more time outdoors as a family, embracing the natural environment. And perhaps most tellingly, our entire family can clean the house together every Sunday in approximately 30 minutes, with everyone having their preferred tasks. Six rooms total, and only one bathroom, really do offer a plethora of upsides that outweigh any perceived limitations.

Of course, this isn’t to say we never encounter the limitations of a smaller home. However, it’s crucial to understand that limitations aren’t inherently negative. Do we truly want a house with enough space to store literally *anything* we have ever desired? The answer for us is a resounding no. These limitations force intentionality and creativity.

To illustrate, a few years ago, Sherry had the idea of hanging several 6-foot skeletons from our second-floor deck for Halloween. Her initial thought was to store them in the crawl space – a feasible, albeit slightly creepy, solution if stumbled upon during an inspection! After some consideration, Sherry opted for four smaller skeletons that fold compactly at the waist, allowing them to be easily stored in a basket indoors. Our kids absolutely delight in repositioning them every October (creative scenes, like “rain chain Miley-Cyrus-In-Wreckingball,” have become annual traditions), so there’s no shortage of fun, and it has never felt like a “sacrifice.” You learn to adjust, you pivot, and ultimately, everything works out.

In fact, there’s a profound sense of peace that accompanies a resolute “nope, that simply won’t fit in our house.” This clarity empowers us to walk away from countless purchases and accumulated clutter without much internal debate, often saving money in the process. Moreover, the vast majority of people live perfectly fulfilling lives without 6-foot skeletons, which really underscores the point. The longer we reside here, the less our space limitations distract us from the immense positives of downsizing. It’s simply a fact of life we’re happy to embrace in exchange for the countless other benefits we’ve gained.

The Occasional Jolt: Being Reminded You Downsized

As I mentioned, this next section might appear to contradict everything I’ve just discussed. How can it be easy to forget we downsized, yet also be regularly reminded of that very fact? This intriguing dichotomy, however, seems to be an inherent part of the downsizing experience. I wanted to capture it in words for anyone contemplating their own downsizing adventure.

Because the day-to-day reality of living in a smaller home has become so normalized for us over the past 4.5 years, there are these amusing little moments when we’re gently reminded that our decision isn’t everyone’s norm. One such reminder might occur when someone asks us about downsizing and declares they could “never” live without their guest room and double garage. In these conversations, we usually emphasize that downsizing is definitely not for everyone, and each individual has unique priorities they couldn’t imagine living without.

Sometimes, it’s simply being a guest in a friend’s larger home and observing features like a dozen closets or a vast laundry room. It’s not a negative feeling; rather, it’s a distinct moment of “oh yeah, some people really do have all this room! I wonder if they find our house unusual, even though it feels perfectly normal to us.” These moments serve as a subtle calibration, highlighting the diversity of living situations.

To take this thought a step further, comparison is an almost universal aspect of homeownership, regardless of your home’s size. Whether you’re comparing your abode to a house down the street, one featured online, or in a magazine, it’s a natural human tendency. This isn’t specific to downsizing at all. Many people in larger homes have likely, at some point, envied an even more spacious residence. Conversely, you might also feel a momentary pang of yearning for a smaller, simpler home, even if you wouldn’t genuinely want to live in one. These can just be fleeting sentiments.

My main point here is that a multitude of desires and yearnings can coexist in your mind simultaneously. Those momentary pangs don’t necessarily mean you’re unhappy with what you have or that you need to make drastic changes. It’s the old adage of the grass always seeming greener. Therefore, if you’re considering downsizing, it’s wise to regularly assess how these comparisons truly make you feel over a sustained period, setting aside any fleeting desires.

If you’re someone who can genuinely say, “That’s so cool for them, but I definitely wouldn’t want to clean those four extra rooms!” – then you might truly be ready (and excited!) to downsize. However, if seeing those grander homes consistently stirs up a burning desire, rather than just a passing “Woah, they have a theater room!”, perhaps take more time to introspect and ponder if downsizing genuinely aligns with your long-term vision and values.

When we tour massive open houses or elaborate show homes, we genuinely enjoy soaking up the inspiration and appreciating every detail. Yet, we always return to our cozy little house feeling content and affirmed. For us, exploring these “bigger and better houses” isn’t just entertainment; it’s an exercise that consistently reaffirms our choice to live smaller.

Again, for us, the equation is clear: living with less translates to needing less money, which in turn means less time spent working, cleaning, maintaining, and organizing. This frees up invaluable time for family, friends, hobbies, and immersing ourselves in nature. There’s a significant “why” underpinning our choice. So, encountering someone’s larger or more luxurious home often serves as a beneficial moment to savor the clarity we have regarding our own life goals. Is it beautiful? Absolutely. Is it worth dedicating more time to maintenance and working longer hours to afford it? Not for us.

I am particularly grateful for this clarity given the vast spectrum of homes in our immediate vicinity. One unique aspect of living here is the incredibly wide range of house sizes and, shall we say, “fancy-factor.” In all our previous neighborhoods, homes were relatively homogenous; differences usually amounted to a newer kitchen, an updated bathroom, or a modest addition. Here, however, the disparity is truly astonishing. You can find lavish, sprawling waterfront homes easily worth eight figures just a short walk away. Every day, we see everything from quaint little cottages like ours to towering multi-family vacation residences.

Thankfully, this wide range doesn’t cause us to second-guess our decision to downsize. However, I can imagine it would be far more challenging if we genuinely felt our house was too small, making us feel squeezed like sardines while surrounded by such immense space. This highlights the importance of truly understanding your own comfort level and motivations before making such a significant move.

All this leads to a crucial piece of advice: I would not recommend choosing a neighborhood like ours if you are prone to house-size envy or if you worry about second-guessing your decision to downsize. Sherry and I actually enjoy that our house “stands out” in our neighborhood as one of only about two dozen “original cottages” built when our streets were much sleepier and slower-paced. It’s often a great conversation starter! However, I believe a younger, less self-assured version of myself might have preferred to blend in more and “keep up with the Joneses.” That, I think, would have made this downsizing process significantly more difficult. So, truly, know thyself.

Would We Still Choose Downsizing? Absolutely!

If it isn’t already abundantly clear, the answer is a resounding YES! In the nearly half-decade since making this pivotal choice, our conviction in our decision has only grown stronger and more steadfast. In our earlier downsizing recap, we were primarily focused on the logistical and financial aspects of the transition. We hadn’t yet fully processed these deeper mental and psychological dimensions enough to articulate them effectively. Being only six months into the experience, we were undoubtedly loving our new home, location, and lifestyle, but we lacked the broader perspective that only extended time can provide.

Now, 4.5 years post-downsizing, any “honeymoon period” that may have existed is long over, and we are still very happily committed to this lifestyle. We are continually amazed by how normalized it has become for us, and how effortlessly we can brush off any “temptations” or comparisons around us. Sherry often says that, much like getting tattoos, the process of paring down and simplifying possessions can be truly addictive. The only occasional exception, perhaps, is a momentary longing for those giant skeletons. But even those desires, as we’ve learned, can be creatively managed, leading to unexpected joy.

Explore More About Our Downsizing Experience

Interested in delving further into our journey and experiences with downsizing to a smaller home? Check out these related posts for more insights and practical advice:

• Making The Decision To Downsize: Our Initial Leap
• We Did It! The Realities of Downsizing (6-Month Update)
• The Rooms We Don’t Miss After Downsizing (And The Ones We Do)
• 4 People + 1 Bathroom: How We Make It Work For Our Family
• 6 Smart Layout Features For Optimizing A Smaller Home
• Practical Tips for What To Get Rid Of When Downsizing